Mock Headlines

First of all, a big thanks to those of you who’ve kept up with the blog during our first week. We appreciate all 6 of our readers.

Today kicks off a new segment of the blog that will come your way every Sunday. Instead of one of us just posting a new blog, we’re going to do a joint posting every Sunday in which we have a little fun with the sports world.  So today, we’re going to make fun of sports headlines.

We’ve all seen them. The ones that writers use over and over and somehow think we’re still going to find it clever.  For example, every time the Braves make a big move the headline is always “Brave New World.” (Speaking of, how boring is that book?)  The Cardinals’ headlines typically always involve “..in the Cards.”  And apparently it’s a law that any article about Tiger Woods has to be titled, “Tiger on the Prowl.”

So withthat in mind, we came up with some fictional stories and then created some painful headlines of our own. This time around it’s related to the MLB.  But we had so much fun with these that you can expect to see something for the other sports in the future.  Hope you enjoy, and make sure to check back here every new for new content.

 

Team

Scenario

Headline

Baltimore Orioles

Cal Ripken Jr. visits Orioles clubhouse to give inspirational talk

 

Bird to the Wise

Arizona Diamondbacks

Brandon Webb signs a contract to keep him in Arizona for his career.

 

A Diamondback is Forever

Boston Red Sox

Red Sox win another championship

 

The Joy of Sox

Atlanta Braves

Entire Braves team shaves their heads to break out of slump

 

Home of the Shave

Chicago White Sox

Jermaine Dye gets beaned in the knee

 

Knee Sox

Chicago Cubs

Cubs play exhibition game on Thanksgiving

 

Turkey Cub

Cleveland Indians

Indians lose Joe Borowski to injury for the season, decide on “closer by committee”

 

Tribal Committee

Cincinnati Reds

Pete Rose and his son attend a Cincinnati Reds reunion

 

Roses are Reds

Detroit Tigers

Tigers sign Ted Lilly

 

Tiger Lilly

Colorado Rockies

MLB releases 2007 World Series DVD

 

Rockies Horror Picture Show

KC Royals

Royals play weekend series in Jamaica

 

Royal Caribbean

Florida Marlins

Marlins get swept in world series

 

Fish Tank

LA Angels

Angels pick up Joey Devine from A’s

 

Devine Intervention

Houston Astros

Astros win the record 117th game in a season

 

Astro-nomical feat!

Minnesota Twins

Mauer and Morneau have the same stats

 

Identical Twins

LA Dodgers

Dodgers pick up top prospect in 2008 draft

 

Dodge the Draft!

New York Yankees

Yankees pitcher Wang throws perfect game

 

A Yankee doodle dandy!

Milwaukee Brewers

Mike Cameron leaping catch prevents a home run 

Brewers have Hops!

Oakland Athletics

Athletics sweep series

 

Straight A’s

New York Mets

Mets players smoke celebratory cigars in clubhouse after winning the World Series

 

Cigar-mets!

Seattle Mariners

Mariners sign Buck Showalter to record deal as new manager

 

Captain of the Ship

Philadelphia Phillies

2/3 of Phillies roster catches a vicious cold

 

Philly Sneeze Steak

Tampa Bay Rays

Rays hit record number of doubles in game

 

Double-Rays!

Pittsburgh Pirates

Pirates acquire pitcher David Aardsma

 

Aaaarrrrrrrrrrdsma becomes a Buc

Texas Rangers

Obsessed Rangers fan gets restraining order

 

Stalker, Texas Ranger

San Diego Padres

Padres sign Abraham Nunez

 

Father Abraham

Toronto Blue Jays

Jays draw record number of walks in one game

 

Jaywalk!

SF Giants

Andre Ethier traded to Giants

 

Andre the Giant

St. Louis Cardinals

Cardinal visit teammate in hospital after surgery

 

Get Well, Card!

Washington Nationals

Nationals keep losing

National Emergency

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2 Responses to “Mock Headlines”

  1. Oy.

    I think the Braves headline was the biggest stretch – why not project way into the future and say that Larry Jones III becomes the starting shortstop for the 2018 team? The headline could be:

    “Chipper off the old block”

  2. I just thought of another one:

    L.A. Dodgers – Andruw Jones hits below Mendoza line for entire length of $36 million contract:

    “The Devil with Mr. Jones”

    Or maybe, for the New York Mets – another historic collapse under Wille Randolph:

    “Willie stay or Willie go?”

    How about for the Chicago Cubs – finishing with the best record in MLB yet losing again in the NL Championship thanks to a cruel twist of fate:

    “Just Shoot Me In the Face”

    This is fun. I can’t wait to read your send ups of the NFL and NBA…

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