You wore WHAT???

The world of sports brings many sentimental memories.  You only have to turn on the Masters golf tournament on CBS to see one of Jim Nance’s vomitous pieces on some golfer, who overcame some odds somewhere, to make it to the Masters.  You also have the musical pieces that are put together during the NBA Finals.  You know, the ones that show Michael Jordan soaring through the air with the Jurassic Park theme in the background.  I ‘spose you could call this sentimental.  Attend any sports event and you will be greeted with the smells, the sounds…..and also the sights of a game.  You might even go to a sporting event and pay attention to the uniforms that the athletes wear – the color, the type of fabric, and the style.  Most of the time, uniforms are designed and when they are introduced to the public eye, they pass with flying colors. 

But every once in awhile, you may be taking a big sip of Coke at a game, and you may spit all contents of your drink on the person in front of you after you see the hideous uniforms that a particular team wears.  These uniforms are so disgusting, that they bring memories of terror rather than sentiments.  So I’d like to present to you my personal hand-picked top 10 ugliest uniforms in sports history.  I’m sure the list could be longer than the 10 I have presented, so if I missed any I’d love to hear a more “exhaustive” list.  Enjoy!

1) San Diego Padres – Camouflage:  I’m not sure where the Padres brass came up with this idea, but they apparently were trying to market to either the military serviceman or the NASCAR fan.  Either way, I’m not convinced that these were a good idea for wearing during an actual game, unless of course they were hoping to distract the other team from playing well:






2) Stade Francais Paris:  This uniform deserves an honorable mention because the French Rugby team apparently had a player who had a set of twins (boy/girl) and they decided to celebrate by wearing the following uniforms:








Washington Wizards – Not only were these jersies blinding to look at, but they apparently were made from some sort of colored sheet metal: 







Oregon Ducks – Have you ever seen a duck with black, yellow, and green in it?  Ok, well maybe they do have those colors, but in my opinion they could’ve at least made the uniforms more presentable to the public:





Houston Astros – There was a reason that Nolan Ryan was such a great pitcher.  It was because whenever he wore this jersey while he pitched, the batters were blinded by the sun, moon, and stars:








Vancouver Canucks – Apparently, the Hershey Chocolate company was the main sponser for the Canucks during this year, because they advertised their colors all over the jerseys:








Chicago White Sox – If this doesn’t scream corporate softball league uniforms than I don’t know what does.  They must’ve dealt with alot of raspberries after sliding into 2nd base, though:








Denver Nuggets – The goal of these uniforms must have been to use every color across the spectrum.  I’d like to suggest they rename the team the Denver Rainbows:








Utah Jazz – These colorful designs were apparently stolen from a Versace fashion runway.  It is unclear as to whether or not the designer was color-blind.  But the funny thing about these jerseys were not only the color, but also how short John Stockton’s shorts actually were:








Philadelphia Sixers – And last but not least, the patriotic version of the 76ers jersey.  I’m not sure if Uncle Sam would appreciate this design:









And there you have it, my top ten list.  I’m sure I’ve missed several, but I’ll have to rely on you to tell me which ones you nominate.  Next time you go jogging in short white shorts and a pink top, you’d better make your jog early or else you’re bound to cause a few accidents…



One Response to “You wore WHAT???”

  1. I liked those “ugly” Sixers jerseys better than the black ones they recently, mercifully, ditched.

    And the Astros uniforms today are the ugliest ones the ‘Stros have ever had. To me, the Astronaut-on-a-train look just does not work.

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