Time For Another Top Ten
Well here we are. Another Monday. is it just me, or are Mondays remarkably less depressing during football season? I mean when football isn’t on Monday is just a cruel reminder that you’re as far away from the weekend as you can get. Even during baseball season your team has a good chance of having the night off on Monday. So thanks football – we appreciate your presence on Monday nights.
Anyways, I’m heading out on another trip tomorrow so I’ll be absent for the rest of the week. But thought I’d write up a fresh Top Ten list to leave you with. In honor of the free agency period starting in MLB last Friday, I thought I’d do the top ten ways to tell if you’re Scott Boras.
1. The only recession you see is in A-Rod’s hairline.
2. You’re number 3 on the American Public’s most wanted list, behind Osama Bin Laden and Steve Bartman.
3. When you have people over for dinner, you present them with a thick binder explaining all the various reasons that the cheeseburger you have just made for them is the greatest cheeseburger in history.
4. Then you charge them to eat that cheeseburger.
5. You think Obi-Wan Kenobe’s Jedi mind tricks were amateur at best.
6. When you get a speeding ticket, you somehow convince the policeman to give you $200.
7. Instead of cereal, you eat small market teams for breakfast.
8. You think the $52 million extension that Jake Peavy signed last year is “cute.”
9. You believe AIG, Fannie Mae, and Freddie Mac should have held out for more from the government.
10. During your neighbor’s wedding ceremony, you held a press conference in the church lobby to announce that your daughter is single and ready to accept dating offers.