Well, we find ourselves in the last few days of the 2008 Summer Olympics. Many of you out there are probably wondering how you’re going to cope with the conclusion. You’re probably worried about the inevitable shakes and cravings that will come sometime next week when you need the gold medal fix and can’t get it. You’re probably dreading having to go back to….regularly scheduled programming. Oh the humanity!
Not sure if you’re one of those people? Well, the Betty Ford Clinic may be too expensive (and too full) for you to get yourself checked out, but the good news is that I’ve come up with another easy test to help determine if you’re addicted to the Olympics.
1. When you make it to work 3 seconds earlier than your coworker you think you blew them out of the water.
2. When your friends ask you what you did that day, you wheel in a TV and play a short movie that recaps your day in dramatic slow-motion and highlights a tear-jerking story about how Subway was out of your favorite bread that day.
3. In an effort to get ready quicker in the morning, you wear the Speedo LZR in the shower.
4. At lunch, you ask a coworker to be your partner in synchronized eating.
5. Every morning you not only jump out of bed, but you stick the landing too.
6. When you’re waiting for a light to turn green you just keep muttering to yourself, “no false start….no false start.”
7. Before you get ready to use the computer you put chalk on your hands.
8. Each morning for breakfast you have a bowl of porridge; three fried egg sandwiches with fried onion, lettuce, tomato and mayonnaise; a five-egg omelette; three slices of French toast; a stack of chocolate chip pancakes; and two large cups of coffee.
9. When you’re boss asks you why you haven’t finished a project, you say it’s a marathon not a sprint and you’re conserving your energy.
10. Before you make any decision you ask yourself, “What would Bob Costas think?”
If any of those are you, then you’re going to have Olympic withdrawal next week.