Archive for sports

Life, Liberty, the Pursuit of Happiness, and…Sports!

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , on November 27, 2008 by twonateshow

As the clock quickly approaches midnight here in Atlanta and the first minutes of Thanksgiving day approach, I look over the last year and think about all of the things that I am thankful for when it comes to sports:  I am thankful for teams like the Tampa Bay Rays, who show that a baseball team doesn’t have to have a giant payroll to make it to the World Series.  I am thankful for coaches like Mike Krzyzewski, who led Team USA to a gold medal in Beijing, bringing USA basketball back in business.  And lets not forget the New York Giants, who came in and stole the Super Bowl from the New England Patriots.  The month of February is another thing I am thankful for.  Many see it as the middle of winter, but I see it as the beginning of spring training when pitchers and catchers report for the first breath of America’s past-time.  Michael Phelps.  How many of you who watched his performances can honestly say that you didn’t pump your fists in the air and scream when he helped Team USA win the 4×100 freestyle relay?  And his other 7 golds.  Jon Lester.  A champion for cancer survivors around the world, after coming back to baseball and pitching a no-hitter in front of a Fenway crowd.

I am thankful for Lou Piniella, Brett Favre leaving the Packers, Derrick Rose, and Joe Gibbs.  And Joey Chestnut, who defended his title of the Nathan’s hotdog eating contest (yes, that is a sport).  Matt Forte, Matt Ryan, Tiger Wood’s pain tolerance, and Bruce Weber’s ’09-’10 recruits.  I am thankful for for when I was in Amman, Jordan.  I watched the Cubs win and listened to the call of prayer all at the same time.  And what about all the food items that are sold at the stadium?  Maxwell Street Polish, Funnel Cakes with powdered sugar, churros, nachos with jalepenos and beer (and mountain dew).

Before I go any further, let me warn you that what you will read below may come across to you as corny, cheesy, and cliche.  You will say “Elwell, I think you’ve gone off your rocker and are a major softy”.  But lets not forget how we got here today.  Many will criticize our country and say we do so many things wrong.  But I believe that we have so much to be thankful for that we take for granted.  Food, a car, an internet connection (without it you wouldn’t be reading this), a hot shower, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, a job, a spouse, being single, etc etc.  As you sit down today and watch the NFL matchups, remember to be thankful for what you own, and consider going out and sharing it with someone in need.  In the midst of all of life’s stresses, frustrations, anger, pain, and bitterness, remember that an act of kindness, especially on Thanksgiving day, will give someone a day that they’ll never forget.  Instead of sitting on your couch alone like a lazy bumb, Invite over your annoying next door neighbor who maybe smells a little and doesn’t brush his teeth.  After all, two beers opened are better than one.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving feast, and be careful with your Turkey fryers.


Random Musings

Posted in 1 with tags , , , , , , , , on September 6, 2008 by nathanjzacharias

The Seattle SuperSonics are now the Oklahoma City Thunder.  The team went from being a scientific definition to a weather element.  In a way it actually makes sense.  Because now if fans start counting how many seconds it takes for the Thunder to score after their opponent does, it will help them determine how close they are to being a winning team.

Angels pitcher Jared Weaver cut his fingers while sitting down on the dugout bench, and he may have to miss his next start as a result.  That’s a weird way to get injured, but it’s not quite up to the level of Sammy Sosa’s costly sneeze, Kevin Brown introducing his pitching hand to the wall, and me pulling a muscle while studying.

The last time the Braves had a meaningless September was when Zack and Kelly had to have their own prom outside the school gym.  That was about a year before she dumped Zack for that “Fratboy babe stealer.”

Apparently Tatum Bell stole Rudi Johnson’s luggage after he was cut from the team.  What is this, junior high? Rumor has it Bell resorted to the five fingered discount after his plan to dip Johnson’s fingers in warm water while he slept fell through.

It’s becoming more and more common for athletes to give a statement over text.  Does that mean we’re going to see an increase in quotes along the lines of “OMG, I need an MRI.  TTYL!”

I just did some simple math and discovered that A-Rod makes $19,204 per inning.  Coincidentally, that’s how much it will cost to go see a game at the new Yankee Stadium.

The Butt Stops Here

Posted in 1 with tags , on July 18, 2008 by nathanjzacharias

First of all, let’s see a show of electronic hands from those going to see The Dark Knight this weekend? I know I am. I haven’t been this excited since I discovered EL Fudge cookies.  But if you are sitting at your computer sheepishly keeping your imaginary and literal arm at your side, I ask you to please head out and see the movie this weekend? Why? Two reasons.

A) It’s going to be awesome. B) I have a bet with my sister that it will take in more on it’s opening weekend than one of her chick flicks did earlier this year.  The loser has to buy the other dinner. Holy Pass the Check Batman! At this point it seems like a forgone conclusion that I will be getting a free meal next week, but I don’t want to take anything for granted.

However, this is a sports blog not a “win Nathan a free meal” blog so I’ll move on.

Anyways, there’s one thing about sports I just don’t get.  I love the games and the traditions, but sometimes I wonder – where on earth did the butt slap come from?  I mean seriously.  When we were kids the hand to the butt was something to be dreaded.  Now all of a sudden it’s supposed to be a positive thing just because you’re in uniform?

Are the rest of us in the non-sports world allowed to give a little tap to our coworkers when they do a good job on a project?  I’m pretty sure our employee manual specifically forbids it actually.

So how did this start? And who was the gutsy guy who got it started? I wonder how that went.

Bob – “Nice game, John” (smack)

John – “What are you doing you sicko….wait. I actually feel completely affirmed and valued as both an athlete and human being right now. Thank you Bob.”

I guess it just took off from there.

Well it may have worked for John and every athlete since then, but I’ve compiled a list of perfectly acceptable alternatives that should be considered.

1.  The high five

At times, this may also be altered to a regular five or a down low five. It’s completely up to you. It’s quick, it’s affirming.  The only challenge is that 1 out of every 100 people finds it impossible to hit the oncoming hand straight on.  I am that one person.

2.  The hand shake

Nothing says job well done like a firm handshake.  It’s the international symbol of friendship, agreement, and success.  What’s better, you don’t have to touch anyone’s butt to express all that.

3.  The thumbs up

Sure, it’s somewhat impersonal, but if it was good enough for a Roman emperor it’s good enough for me.

4.  The slap on the back

This would not be my first choice as it’s critical to find just the right amount of force.  Too hard will cause the person you’re congratulating to lose all air in his lungs.  Too soft will just create an awkward moment.

5.  The fist bump

You can go either knuckle to knuckle or simply hit the top of the other person’s fist with your own.  In this day and age it’s the most hygienically safe way to say “good job.”  It’s kind of a win win because you make a person feel better and minimize the of passing germs.

6.  Finally, there is the “beat the other person senseless over the head as they cross home plate” approach that many teams take.

Granted you lose some brain cells and the occasional eye.  But it’s better than the innocence you lose when you get slapped repeatedly on the rear end by all of your teammates.

Entertaining Pictures from the Sports World

Posted in 1 with tags , , on July 17, 2008 by twonateshow

The old cliche “A picture is worth a thousand words” is true, especially when it comes to the world of sports.  Throughout the current history of sports, you can guarantee that there is a camera or camcorder somewhere recording something embarassing, entertaining, or funny.  Dennis Rodman kicked a camera man where it counts, and perhaps he was paying this gentleman back for all of the horrid pictures of Rodman that were forced upon the public.  Cameras have caught players picking their nose, and they have even allowed some teams to steal signals from the other team.  (I wont mention the guilty team by name, but they rhyme with bew tengland datriots).  Below, you will find a series of pictures that I found that stand out as some of the most funny and entertaining pictures in sports.  As always, the list could be exhaustive so I’ll limit them to a few.










Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to see David fight Goliath.  This gives me a great idea of what it looked like.










I think this rotund football player just tried the “drink a gallon of milk in one minute” challenge.










Is there a draft around here somewhere?









This unlucky football player thought that he should butt the ball with his face instead of the top of his head…










This picture puts “washing your mouth out with soap” to a whole different level.










I’ve got nothing to say after seeing this picture…










Anyone want to pop a wheelie?

Tampa Bay Streaking Rays?

Posted in MLB with tags , , , , , on July 10, 2008 by twonateshow








It is now July 10th and the Tampa Bay Rays are in 1st place in the AL East division.  “1st place?” you say… “AL East?” you say…  I know it is hard to fathom.  But the team that hasn’t ever had a winning season is not only in 1st place, but is 2 games ahead of the Boston Red Sox, 6.5 games ahead of the New York Yankees, and if the season ended today, the Rays would have the best record in the ENTIRE Major League. 

You may ask…”Aren’t the Tampa Bay Rays one of the marine life exhibits at Busch Gardens?”.  That may be the case, but believe it or not, they are also a Major League baseball team that actually has LIVE humans that can play baseball.  And they play it very very well.  If you can fathom it, the Rays have won 55 game during this season, and they have already tied the number of wins in the TOTAL 2002 SEASON.  They aren’t even at the all-star break.  Thats right you heard me – the Rays only won 55 games back in 2002.  I mean, who wouldn’t route for a team that has a guy named Evan Longoria?  Isn’t he related to that actress who is married to that basketball player?  No.

There is something to say about a team that has finished in last place in their division for 9 out of the last 10 years, and now are in 1st place just before the All-Star break.  I believe that I have figured out their strategy to this year’s winning season.  The last 10 years, they have had a top 10 pick in the 1st round of the amateur draft every year.  The lowest pick that they had was in 2005, when they obtained Wade Townsend as the #8 pick in the first round.  They have had the #1 overall pick 4 separate times, their first #1 pick being Josh Hamilton (unlucky for them, he now plays for the Texas Rangers).  Back to my theory…  Could it be possible that the Rays intentionally lost an average of 90-some games each season because they wanted a better draft pick?  But if a player is drafted high, that doesn’t necessarily mean he will play well, right?  Mike Piazza was drafted in the 62nd round and look what he accomplished – he could become a HOF’er.

It is exciting to watch a team like the Rays.  They have made just about every sports writer look foolish, and they also have attracted attention away from the Bo Sox and the Yanks.  Picture this: A World Series match up between the Chicago Cubs and the Tampa Bay Rays.  or even better, what if the Astros played the Rays in the World Series.  Then, they would be playing in Tropicana Field and Minute Maid Park.  Who would’ve thought that two stadiums would be named after fruit drinks? 

The world really must be ending.  The Chicago Cubs are the best team in the National League, and the Tampa Bay Rays are the best team in the American League.  Hell must be getting a bit frosty!

Venus Williams wins 5th Wimbledon singles title

Posted in Tennis with tags , , , on July 5, 2008 by nathanelwell










SATURDAY – Venus Williams defeated her sister Serena for the 2nd time in a major tennis tournament, winning in two sets, 7-5, 6-4.  Venus had lost the last 5 major finals against her sister, in the 2002 French Open, 2002 Wimbledon, 2002 U.S. Open, 2003 Australian Open, and 2003 Wimbledon.

There is not much to say about this match except traditionally Venus’ main opponent has been herself.  Today, she held herself together and kept the unforced errors to a minimum.  V. Williams restrained her excitement after winning her 6th and final game in the 2nd set.  I sometimes wonder if Venus and Serena hold two straws before their match to decide which sister gets to win.  But seriously, congratulations to the Williams sisters.  I’m sure their Mom and Dad will have to see-saw between joy and sorrow.

Brett Favre – another comeback?

Posted in NFL with tags , , , , on July 3, 2008 by nathanelwell










ESPN’s Chris Mortenson reported Thursday that Brett Favre could be interested in coming back for another year as the quarterback for the Green Bay Packers.  He evidently spoke to the head coach of the Packers about a potential return.  Mississippi’s Sun Herald approached Favre about this possibility and Favre said “It’s all rumor”.  As many of you can remember, Favre did they same thing to a lesser degree before the Bears vs. Colts Super Bowl in 2007.   After beating the Chicago Bears in the regular season finale, Favre gave an emotional tv interview where it was unclear whether he’d return or not.  As we all know, he ended up returning, and led the Packers to the playoffs.

What is to make of Favre wanting to comeback to Green Bay for another season?  Last year, Favre threw for 4155 yards, the best since 1998.  His completion percentage at 66.5 was the best in his career.  His QB rating was the best since 1996.  He also led the Green Bay Packers to a NFC North Division Title.  If Favre were to comeback, he could easily repeat these numbers like many years before.  Enter a second storyline.  Aaron Rodgers, the heralded future quarterback of the Packers, was recently interviewed in Sports Illustrated.  Rodgers said the following of the Packer fans: “I don’t feel I need to sell myself to the fans.  They need to get on board now or keep their mouths shut.”  This may not be the way to handle the beloved cheeseheads, who will have rather high expectations for their new quarterback.  Rodgers attempted to backtrack his comments by saying, “I do care deeply about the fans and I think anybody who has been to training camp and sees I’m a lot of times the last one out signing autographs sees I care about their opinions”.  He later added that he didn’t want anyone to be offended by his previous comments.   

With the foolish comments from Rodgers, would the fans be willing to embrace Favre for another year?  On one hand, fans could relive another year of hype with Favre at the reigns.  On the other hand, could Favre’s legacy be at risk?  Should he return, and should the Packers play poorly, then his return would be an embarassment, and he may have to consider playing ANOTHER year to make up for his poor comeback year.  A team source said the following: “That’s speculation and I wouldn’t go there.  We value Brett’s legacy, we think he values it, and we’d want to protect that.  Brett’s a high quality person and he’s not going to push it that far.  He’ll do the right thing and stay retired.  This was almost predictable, the idea that Brett woul get the itch to play as we get closer to the season.” 

You’ll have to read the articles yourself to make up your mind on this one.  Personally, I feel that Favre should stay retired.  Their whole team has developed a new offense for Aaron Rodgers, and there would be some “huddle tension” that would need to be worked out if Favre came back.  On top of that, I feel that this paints Favre in a poor light.  He already made a decision that he was retiring, the Packers have planned accordingly.  The fans have already finished their grieving, and I’m sure several fans have given up their season tickets because Favre retired.  Now do you think they’ll call up the Packers and demand their season tickets back, should Favre return?

I know I am biased since I am a Bear fan.  But Favre should retire, to avoid making himself look foolish.  Brett, let your legacy stand and hang up your cleats!